Naturally everyone is talking about the comment Sergio Garcia made towards Tiger Woods last night at a European Tour awards dinner. Sergio made a comment that he was going to invite Tiger over for dinner in a few weeks at the U.S. Open and serve him fried chicken. A rather funny joke that the twedia is not going to allow. The consummate professional that Tiger is responded on twitter with this.
Now to be fair, I was entertained by the fact that Sergio was standing up to Tiger, even though he does not stand close to him on the golf course. Sergio could have said, "Ya, maybe we go to IHOP get a stack of flat cakes and a couple whores." That would have really be entertaining.
Tiger a guy known for being a "former" nymphomaniac with a dirty sense of humor decided to stick to Sergio and have the twitter pawns do his dirty work. Tiger is not offended by this comment. If I was Tiger, I would have responded by saying, "We should be careful because you might choke." or "Try not to take a siesta the next time you are in the lead." I think in 2013 that would have been funny, but unfortunately golf is historically a stuffy sport which prides itself on honesty and etiquette. It also is historically dominated by white guys. For a white guy to make a black joke about one of the handful of black guys on the PGA Tour... was never going to be good. Although if Ricky Rubio made this comment to Kobe Bryant, I do not think we would have seen such a reaction, nor do I think Kobe would have raked Rubio through the coals.
I stumbled upon a new tradition. Well, I don’t know if you
can call it a tradition. We’ve only done it once and I mostly made it up out of
necessity. My wife and I were having a long week full of first world problems
and petty work drama. Knowing that negativity enjoys company, we felt that we deserved a night out.
Booze
has been used as a pick-me-up since Jesus turned water into wine. The Devil
followed close behind, convincing man that this elixir would erase all
problems. But in spite of every bloodshot morning’s revenge we still choose to
drown out the next day’s sorrows.
That being said, we had our eyes set on finding
a place to eat and begin our bitch session. We heard about a Japanese
Restaurant with a rooftop bar that sounded like a good place to start. We ask
for their drink menu first. I don’t know what I was expecting but the only
alcohol they had was Sapparo beer and Saki. After deciding if we wanted to stay
or not we settled on a Sapparo each, both in agreement that Saki taste like
warm piss. We jumped right in to our complaints of the work week when suddenly it
dawned on me. Sometimes life sucks… you know what else sucks? Saki. “Excuse me!”
I hollered as the waiter walked down the stairs, “Would you mind grabbing us a
thing of Saki and two shot glasses?” Amanda looked at me like I was crazy.
Let
me explain the rules of this new "tradition". As simple as it may sound, you fill the shot glasses with Saki and
toast to what has been bothering you the most. Shoot. Pour. Repeat. In contrary
to the celebratory shot complete with an Irish blessing and words of congratulations,
these toasts consisted of every bitter life complaint we could invoke. All the minor annoyances that bring you down through out the week are quickly replaced by the pungent taste
of Saki.
After the flavor of rubbing alcohol wears off, so does a life of negativity. By
the time the bottle was gone, we couldn’t think of one thing to complain about.
Life is too short to not live on the bright side. So the next time your boss
asks you for one too many TPS reports or you find yourself amidst a pity party
of epic proportions, just remember, sometimes life sucks… and so does
Saki.
The benefits of playing sports are quickly dwindling in America and it’s a sad time.Just in case Michele Obama stops by to read the Pass the Salt Shambles blog it should be mentioned that of course there are still the health benefits of playing sports.Lots of chunky fat kids have peeled of the pounds from low calorie school lunches followed by a nice gym session dodging, dipping, ducking, diving, and dodging their way to survival.
The benefits that I write about today are the far greater and more powerful attributes gained from playing sports.The art of winning with dignity and respect while at the same time learning how to lose and remain proud with your head held high.In a world where now every kid gets a trophy for trying and there are no winners or losers it is a hard thing to teach children how to accept defeat and grow from it.I could go on like a Southern preacher here all about the ‘generation of winners,’ but I will save the masses* from a lecture on what they undoubtedly already know.
(*the word masses in this sense is used lightly to describe the people reading this blog…however small that number may be.)
Maybe it is my quickly approaching wedding in two weeks that has me thinking about the future and being a good husband and someday father, but watching sports events this last week has me doubting the ability to counteract what my kids will be learning from society and the sports stars of tomorrow.Sure I can teach my son to hold his head up high when he strikes out, but it’s a little hard to teach him to shake hands with the first place team after a hard loss if everyone gets a trophy.In the same way I can teach my kids all about sportsmanship and respect, but as soon as they turn on the game on TV they are met with contradiction from their favorite athletes and role models.
This week with the Heat playing the Bulls it has been a horrible and disgraceful display of the lack of respect and sportsmanship that is turning role models into bad examples and televised sports into something that needs to be censored.The players didn’t shake hands before the tip in a game…Nazr Mohammed lacked complete self-control with his shove…that crazy fan in Miami flipping off Joakim Noah.In a much bigger scope there are steroids…full, bench clearing brawls in baseball and football…fans getting killed by other fans…biting (Suarez and Tyson)…the list goes on and on.So this weekend I turn to a civilized sport and tuned in for the Players only to find Sergio truly acting like El Nino and pouting around the course until darkness cut the pity party short.At least Sergio and Tiger shook hands after the round.
In a society where everyone who plays sports gets a trophy, the only thing to win might very well be found in character, respect, and sportsmanship.It is with these very benefits that the best role models in American sports are setting the worst examples. Can't we all just have a little World Peace in sports.....OR maybe not....
Television has been tough the last 10 years. Aside from Modern Family, Wilfred, the Americans, and a few HBO shows, good television is hard to come by. After the longest commitment of my life ended (6 years), Lost season finale in May 2010, I could not bring myself to watch Wicked Single or Teen Mom 2.
Although hope has returned! The return of Arrested Development to Netflix on May 26th gets everyone with a good sense of humor excited. The first 2 1/2 seasons were so brilliant that the cult like following was devastated when it ended abruptly. The humor is often so dry and fast you catch yourself laughing a few seconds late of each punch line. My advice for newcomers is to watch the old episodes from the start to get the plot and all the humor.
You can argue who is the best football player, the best hockey player, or even the best soccer player ever, but few educated sports fans will argue that the best day in sports. The first 2 days in the NCAA tournament is easily the best days of the year for me. 32 games in a span of 36 hours. It is a euphoric high where I struggle to use an analogy that gives it justice.
I will be first to brag that I had (12)seed Oregon over Oklahoma State and (12)seed California over UNLV and I thought I was the mad hatter when (14)seed Davidson upset choked against Marquette. Only to watch (14) seed Harvard beat New Mexico.. no one outside of Cambridge had that. So with the 2nd dose of first round games about to happen here are a few things that should entertain you for this weekend.
-Watch Marshall Henderson from Mississippi, the kid has never seen a shot he does not like and he appears that he has been doing lines through the game. They will win today and Sunday. I just cannot wait for the celebration.
-(2) seed will lose today.. I hate to say it I think it will be Pacific over Miami (a team I have in my final four)
- Duke will lose on Sunday
Sit back and enjoy. Whether it be at the bar, the groove in your coach, or on board an oil rig in the Gulf of Mexico.
Jimmy Valvano was a charismatic college basketball coach for North Carolina State in the 80s and lead his team as a #6 seed to an improbable championship in 1983 beating the likes of Michael Jordan of North Carolina in the ACC Tournament and Hakeem Olajuwon & Clyde Drexler of Houston in the title game. He died battling cancer 20 years ago. Not knowing or caring about sports, anyone can draw inspiration from his speech months before he died 20 years ago.
It is difficult to turn your back on the network that created what sports media is today. ESPN dominates in all facets via coverage, information, and talent, but how they have turned their Sportscenter into a TMZ of sports is nauseating. Not to drink too much of Dan Patrick's kool-aid, but the only program I can bare to watch is Pardon the Interrruption. It is refreshing to hear old man Kornheiser not filter his short shortsightedness towards sports he does not follow or hear Wilbon's latest rant about how the latest generation does not respect achievements pre-YouTube. Both have made their names and do not have an agenda.
Without further ado the top ten reasons why I have reduced my ESPN consumption to live sports and PTI.
8. Skip Bayless
Skip actually does not really bother me, but I felt the consensus would that he needs to be on here. He is on a day time show, First Take that competes with shows like The View and the Talk. Naturally he is going to utter bullshit to stir the pot. The guy gets paid to talk about Tim Tebow with his shirt off and discuss it with Lil Wayne. Your fault if you watch this. 7. Merril Hodge
We get it Merrill... your tie is a symbolism of the chode you packing downstairs. Having your tie 3 inches too short because it have to cover the circumference of your gut is one thing, but to just be a pompous jackass.. you take the cake.
6. Mel Kiper
Mel is the ultimate high school quarterback. He was such a great talent a long time ago, he uses his hubris demeanor in attempts to boss around his favorite bickering partner, Todd McShay. The NFL draft is a crap shoot for measuring talent, but the firm proclamation he makes about who will and will not be a sure fire thing in the NFL draft is tiresome. The only thing I am interested in during the combine or draft is whether Rich Eisen will break 6.0 seconds in the 40 yard dash.
5. Stephen A Smith
This picture illustrates what I think of when Stephen A starts to talk. To be fair, the guy does know basketball, but his "insight" on football and especially hockey can be withheld. Plus you are no one's dad, there is no need for you to be yelling all the time.
4. Stuart Scott
Surprised to be on here? I know... what can I say you peeked in the 90s with "Just call him butter because he's on a roll." Now you try a fusion of ebonics and SAT words that no one quite understands what you are talking about. I am more confused at what you are saying than which direction you are looking.
3. Darren Rovell
He just looks like a chawch in every essence of the word. To be fair, some of his pieces on money in sports are interesting, but his insufferable personality washes out what good he does. Good riddance to an 18 year old kid named Tim who hustled Rovell in thinking he ran a prostitution ring for athletes. Rovell wrote the story and was later informed how he got played. Tim explained why he did it very simply," he's just such a douche on twitter all the time."
2. Ray Lewis
For sure when I heard that Ray Lewis was hired by ESPN I thought they were going to fly him to Rome and report on the conclave. I am floored to be honest, God did not tell him he was going to be pope. Dennis Rodman and Ray Lewis are the two best ambassadors of the U.S.
1. Rick Reilly
Easily the most talented to make the list, but thinking people care to see his face is another thing. Whether it was begging Stuart Scott to report on ESPN that he was first to break Ben Roethlisberger's injury this fall or the fact that he actually thought Lance Armstrong respected him as he lied to his face for over a decade. Reilly fervently defended Lance against taking steroids until Lance hit him up with a one line email saying sorry. Reilly fired back like a beaten puppy with an article lambasting Lance... little too late.. you are just one of his pawns.
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