Used Golf Balls, Televisions & Life Advice

I was fortunate enough to be graced with a phone call this morning from my creator. Most of the conversations are not "conversations" but random life ramblings and everything my father has done in the last 48 hours. He started the conversation off by the anxiety he has from the excess amount of golf balls he has and how he needs to get ride of them. Mind you, the man does not purchase golf balls, but will wander aimlessly into the woods during a round of golf in search of more unneeded balls.(My comments blue, my father red. "Shamey, should I mail them to you?" "Used golf balls, Dad? No, I am good." "Well, what am I going to do with all these balls?" After a few more rambling thoughts, he quickly moved onto fitness. "Are you working out?" "Yeah, I "Yeah, your mother and I are doing great. I mean we are walking every day, I have lost 16 pounds, your mother 28 pounds, but you know.. It gets dark up here earlier, so I do not know where we are going to walk in the fall.. maybe drive to Leominster and let your mother walk around the mall at night." 

My dad quickly asked if I had unlimited minutes (he was calling from the landline) "Yes" "You know Shamey, Mom and I will send down the old T.V. to you. I mean we do not need it. We will ship it down." "No, thanks Dad I do not want "Why? why do you not want the T.V.? It is a nice TV. you know you can watch your soccer matches on it?"  This is the TV he wants to ship to me.

After a good 5 minutes of firm No's and No, thank you's he understood accepted I did not want his pre-internet TV. From here we moved to one of his favorite topics Real Estate. "You know if I had bought a home in the Cape(Cod) 1980 versus this cesspool Gardner, the house would be 4 or 5 times the value. I mean I could not sell this house. This city has been decreasing in population since World War 1.. I mean who wants to live here. You got to get inside 495 if you want to live in Massachusetts." He jumped to how 1 in 3 old people fall down. "Where did you get that stat?' "Oh, it is all over the television. You know those infomercials.. so you think about those things when you get older.. your mother and I cannot be walking in the dark." Once he tired from talking he wrapped up the conversation with "Make sure you workout."