Uncontrollable High

You can argue who is the best football player, the best hockey player, or even the best soccer player ever, but few educated sports fans will argue that the best day in sports. The first 2 days in the NCAA tournament is easily the best days of the year for me. 32 games in a span of 36 hours. It is a euphoric high where I struggle to use an analogy that gives it justice.
I will be first to brag that I had (12)seed Oregon over Oklahoma State and (12)seed California over UNLV and I thought I was the mad hatter when (14)seed Davidson upset choked against Marquette. Only to watch (14) seed Harvard beat New Mexico.. no one outside of Cambridge had that. So with the 2nd dose of first round games about to happen here are a few things that should entertain you for this weekend.

-Watch Marshall Henderson from Mississippi, the kid has never seen a shot he does not like and he appears that he has been doing lines through the game. They will win today and Sunday. I just cannot wait for the celebration.

-(2) seed will lose today.. I hate to say it I think it will be Pacific over Miami (a team I have in my final four)

- Duke will lose on Sunday

Sit back and enjoy. Whether it be at the bar, the groove in your coach, or on board an oil rig in the Gulf of Mexico.

Jimmy Valvano's Spirit Lives On

Jimmy Valvano was a charismatic college basketball coach for North Carolina State in the 80s and lead his team  as a #6 seed to an improbable championship in 1983 beating the likes of Michael Jordan of North Carolina in the ACC Tournament and Hakeem Olajuwon & Clyde Drexler of Houston in the title game. He died battling cancer 20 years ago. Not knowing or caring about sports, anyone can draw inspiration from his speech months before he died 20 years ago.

The most insufferable personalities on the Mothership

It is difficult to turn your back on the network that created what sports media is today. ESPN dominates in all facets via coverage, information, and talent, but how they have turned their Sportscenter into a TMZ of sports is nauseating. Not to drink too much of Dan Patrick's kool-aid, but the only program I can bare to watch is Pardon the Interrruption. It is refreshing to hear old man Kornheiser not filter his short shortsightedness towards sports he does not follow or hear Wilbon's latest rant about how the latest generation does not respect achievements pre-YouTube. Both have made their names and do not have an agenda.
Without further ado the top ten reasons why I have reduced my ESPN consumption to live sports and PTI.

8. Skip Bayless


Skip actually does not really bother me, but I felt the consensus would that he needs to be on here. He is on a day time show, First Take that competes with shows like The View and the Talk. Naturally he is going to utter bullshit to stir the pot. The guy gets paid to talk about Tim Tebow with his shirt off and discuss it with Lil Wayne. Your fault if you watch this.

7. Merril Hodge


We get it Merrill... your tie is a symbolism of the chode you packing downstairs. Having your tie 3 inches too short because it have to cover the circumference of your gut is one thing, but to just be a pompous jackass.. you take the cake.

6. Mel Kiper


Mel is the ultimate high school quarterback. He was such a great talent a long time ago, he uses his hubris demeanor in attempts to boss around his favorite bickering partner, Todd McShay. The NFL draft is a crap shoot for measuring talent, but the firm proclamation he makes about who will and will not be a sure fire thing in the NFL draft is tiresome. The only thing I am interested in during the combine or draft is whether Rich Eisen will break 6.0 seconds in the 40 yard dash.

5. Stephen A Smith

This picture illustrates what I think of when Stephen A starts to talk. To be fair, the guy does know basketball, but his "insight" on football and especially hockey can be withheld. Plus you are no one's dad, there is no need for you to be yelling all the time.

4. Stuart Scott

Surprised to be on here? I know... what can I say you peeked in the 90s with "Just call him butter because he's on a roll." Now you try a fusion of ebonics and SAT words that no one quite understands what you are talking about. I am more confused at what you are saying than which direction you are looking.

3.  Darren Rovell

He just looks like a chawch in every essence of the word. To be fair, some of his pieces on money in sports are interesting, but his insufferable personality washes out what good he does. Good riddance to an 18 year old kid named Tim who hustled Rovell in thinking he ran a prostitution ring for athletes. Rovell wrote the story and was later informed how he got played. Tim explained why he did  it very simply," he's just such a douche on twitter all the time."

2. Ray Lewis


For sure when I heard that Ray Lewis was hired by ESPN I thought they were going to fly him to Rome and report on the conclave. I am floored to be honest, God did not tell him he was going to be pope. Dennis Rodman and Ray Lewis are the two best ambassadors of the U.S.

1. Rick Reilly


Easily the most talented to make the list, but thinking people care to see his face is another thing. Whether it was begging Stuart Scott to report on ESPN that he was first to break Ben Roethlisberger's injury this fall or the fact that he actually thought Lance Armstrong respected him as he lied to his face for over a decade. Reilly fervently defended Lance against taking steroids until Lance hit him up with a one line email saying sorry. Reilly fired back like a beaten puppy with an article lambasting Lance... little too late.. you are just one of his pawns.

When you Dad turns into a 14 year old girl

I have to be honest.. I did not see this coming. My father has always been a little loopy, but I am convinced parents start to act like children to get back at having to wipe your ass for 3 years. I.E. Lets take my father's whip. It is notoriously dirty, although he is generous with his leech son when he wants to use it. The caveat is of course... he expects it to be clean when it returns.
When entering my dad's car, you are pushed back by the smell of wet dog. Once you are past the initial aroma, it appears as if he has been carpooling with Orangutans for 3 years due to the amount of hairs in the car. I can get past all this, but what really gets me is the semi used paper towels and endless plastic grocery bags shoved under the seat. There is no way he thinks this is his attempt of cleaning? Maybe symbolism for the carnage my ass used to leave...
I usually clean the car and just bite the bullet knowing that his behavior these days mimics a 14 year old girl. ... highly explosive. I just try to navigate without setting anything off. He wants your attention at times and quickly does not want to anything with you. I am convinced he passed through the 18 year old phase and imagine nothing is worse than this 14 year old phase... until the actual shitting of pants phase begins.